A Perfect Circle

Okay,so where do i begin?
It's hard to believe that my last blog post is dated July 23,2009(not taking into consideration my previous post).It was exactly a day before i was to leave for Amrika.I still remember that strange feeling within.All those nights,when i used to sit back in my balcony in Udayagiri staring at those planes flying across the sky,wondering where i am headed.Contemplating what is that i am supposed to do after i finish my engineering.I remember it was sometime in T.E when everyone was giving their GRE,while me and pable discussed our future.Those random/philosophical/lengthy yahoo chats with Manas about weighing the pros/cons of coming to US,masters,MBA and everything in between.Those confused thoughts going through my mind all through those years.Going forward with these thoughts work started and still my mind wasn't fully occupied,somewhere deep inside something didn't feel right.So then as the cliche goes, universe conspired to get things in motion and after that night i was also going to walk on through to the other side.

As far as life over here goes,it's been a pretty exciting.Most of the things over here were,just the way i though they would be.EXCESS - that is the only word to describe Amrika.I'll save my thoughts on Amrika for some other post.Everyone gets by over here,with a bit of faith.If you lose optimism over here,you lose everything.There were times when the words didn't seem optimistic but inside my heart everything did feel right.It wasn't like those previous years.There were testing times,i(along with others) worked till wee hours in the morning,learnt to make some fat-ass burritos,got to know several dozen types of meats and cheese,stocked all varieties of chocolates,gums, but it was all worth it.I still remember the conversations nair and I used to have in highland, somewhat similar to ones described earlier in the posts.I would not change a single thing.As time passed by I got everything i deserved and more. Just a little bit of faith is required.

Largely due the close proximity of my destined university ,I also got to cross some places off my to-visit list which i had made during engineering days.Previous winter i got to see vegas, which was fun.Those blinding lights,the fountains of bellagio,the grandness of MGM grand,quite awesome.And even more importantly i traveled to the city(technically,a state) of my dreams(as cheesy as it may sound but that's the truth,i was/am obsessed with it,balme that on the internet/hollywood) :California.Pable and his co-op was the perfect excuse to go to San Diego.I really had an amazing time traveling to there alone and even more so traveling with "them" within SD and LA.The ocean is really breathtaking ,reminiscent of Mumbai.

With the blink of an eye,I am more than half way though this course.Most of the things Jisha mentioned in an comment on one of my last posts turned out to be true.Things changed and for better or worse, I changed.

And so with this post i am trying to reach a perfect circle and start posting more often on my blog.It feels good to be back again.Cheers!

GOMCHA Experience :Data Transformers (Casa Video)

Google Online Marketing Challenge(or, GOMCHA as it was lovingly referred to as the project started to take shape) was the name of the project that was introduced to us as a part of our course work in MIS 587 Business Intelligence.GOMCHA presented before us an opportunity to work for a local small-mid sized business.Each team received $200 of free online advertising to promote the selected business through creative online marketing campaign.

The first step for this challenge was to select a local business.From the beginning we had a plan that we need to select a business that is not very big in terms of employee strength but at the same time, the chosen business should be popular amongst the local crowd. Many of our group members were movie and television buffs ,so we came up with the idea of approaching Casa Video,an local DVD rental store.The initial meeting with our client was setup and even our client Ms.Gala seemed thrilled with the idea of obtaining free publicity and exposure to different customer segment through our campaign.

Now,the second step we did as a team was to formulate a pre-campaign strategy which helped us in the long run, as we had a well defined strategy in place before the start of actual campaign.As a part of our strategy we decided to focus on customer segmentation based on different age groups.We formulated two campaigns for people in age group of 17-30 yrs and 30-45 yrs.This step helped us in choosing creative keywords targeting specific customer segment.We also created a third campaign called as '2-for-1 offers' which focused on leveraging the in-store offer of proving the customer an opportunity to rent two DVDs for the price of one !

We ran these campaigns for a period of three weeks while monitoring the website statistics and usage information on regular basis.Google Analytics is a excellent tool which includes a user-friendly dashboard showing the essential metrics that we required to measure the effectiveness of our client's website.We monitored metrics such as Cost Per Click(CPC), Click through Rate(CTR),No.of visitors, No.of unique visitors in order to determine where our campaign was lacking and what steps were needed to put it back on track.It also helped us to reformulate our strategy related to our daily budget limit.

By the end of three weeks, we were successful in increasing the number of visitors to Casa Video online website which also resulted in spreading the awareness about the niche video store that has a huge collection of various movies(especially foreign films),television series,documentaries.However were not as successful as we wanted to be with regards to the number of sales the campaign achieved.Some of the hurdles we faced to realize our target were:
Lack of dynamic content in website.Targeting local customers through Google search engine. Keeping the interest of customers visiting the website for greater amount of time i.e high bounce rate.In the end , without a shade of doubt this challenge was responsible for sharpening our learning curve.Each one of us not only got accustomed to the basics of marketing strategies but also learned the usage of different metrics used in web analytics along with the underlying meaning behind each one of those metrics.GOMCHA was a win-win situation for both our team as well as our client.

This is what our team members had to say regarding the GOMCHA Experience :

Kumar Says:

“The GOMCHA project has been an eye opener, giving me perspective into web analytics helping me understand the Web in a new way.”

Kunal says:

“GOMCHA came a long way from where we started and where we ended, it was a true learning experience which helped us understand the dynamics of analytics in a real world”

Anand says:

"GOMCHA was an excellent platform to demonstrate the marketing abilities I had gained in my previous work experience and apply those skills to real world business challenges"

Aniket says:

" The practical knowledge that I have gained as a result of GOMCHA has been immense.I am now able to understand how web analytics acts as an enabler to improve online businesses.

Charu says:

"GOMCHA was a very practical and enriching experience for us as it helped us develop an understanding of online marketing strategies, client relationships and marketing analytics and also gave us a hands on experience in managing the AdWords Campaign"

Neeraj says :

" The entire campaign touched base of variety of concepts which are extremely critical in today's day and age.The advent of Web 2.0 has made it even more important to gain real work experience in web analytics focused on some business domain"

- Data Transformers

Adieu

I had always thought of posting one blog entry the day before I leave.So here I am doing the same,amidst the chaos of work that is still pending.

That weird feeling has started to sunk in just a wee bit now.I'm feeling somewhat uneasy,mostly because of my procrastination.It was a good day,met all of my ex-office buddies in the afternoon,caught up with a good friend of mine after a long time in the evening.On the other hand,could quite catch up with couple of friends and I'm feeling really bad about that.

So that's that.

Miss you all ,and see you on the Other Side.

In July

Last couple of weeks were pretty much a blur for me.

Drive,Shop,Sleep.Meet relatives,leave relatives.Meet friends,leave friends.Drive,Shop,Sleep.Lunch here,dinner there.Windows crash,Tweet Tweet.Drive,Shop,Sleep.

And the shopping didn't actually end,I guess mads was right in claiming that it won't ever end.

All in all,it was exactly the kinda experience i was looking forward to.I'm still not sure how to describe the entire experience of past month.It sure has been a emotional roller-coaster(pardon the cliche or you may not).There has been an unexpected detour,some apprehensions and a lot of talking to self.

I vividly remember this time of the month,last year.Watching friends leave and wondering what'll be happening to me during the course of a year.I found out the answer to that question.

Pissenstance©

Definition :The mohsintionary describes it as the collusion of a multitude of pissing events happening in succession or close proximity to each other and furthering the destructive (pissing) effect than could have been caused by each such event in individuality.


For far too long,I have been judged and derided. For far too long.

For far too long, I have kept quiet,nodded,even smiled while listening to each one of YOU.Day in and day out someone or the other has kept on prodding me with his/her witty one-liners,although,I'm not saying that any of it was ill-intended but when the levee breaks,the flood's going to flow.

For far too long ,I have heard, from the 'Holier Than Thou' kind,about how I have been wasting my time,about how I am online all the time,about how I have nothing else to do,about facebooking,about orkuting,about gtalking,about virtually anything at all I have been doing(or rather the lack of it),about how sitting idle is apparently some kind of Blasphemy,about how I should find something "useful" to do,about "updating" too many times a day.

So at this point in time,I am all out of patience and ignorance.I am feeling a strange mixture of anger and motivation.Tide doesn't take much time to turn,God willing,it will turn.But for now I'm sitting in my room.

And waiting.

And wishing.

If only,self-righteous people had mirrors in their houses.


Pissenstance,Copyright © held by Wendol.

GOD hates NIKE......

.......or at least he/she doesn't like me wearing one of those.

3-4 Years Earlier,
Few days had passed since i had bought my brand new Nike shoes,I am the kinda person who doesn't buy shoes easily,by easily i mean that i browse through at least five to ten different brands in various malls and factory outlets before i finally choose THE pair.One important fact you should know is about the strange rule in my college library:One has to remove his shoes outside before he enters the "Air-conditioned" library" and this is BY ORDER.

Well so obviously i couldn't argue with "BY ORDER" ,so I removed my shoes outside the library and went inside.I still can't think of a good reason why i would have gone inside the library except maybe to get some assignments.Anyhoo the day was about to get over and I came back outside to head back home,so I start looking for my shoes,i repeat brand new shoes,and funny as it may seem,there sure as hell weren't there ! The moment it stuck me I thought of shouting "Chor Chor" but then thought otherwise.Everyone left and the only pair of shoe remaining was the one which my new friend had decided to leave for me,his own worn out shoes,while he walked away in my nike.

April 2009:
After all those years now I have bought another pair of Nike,which passed all the aforementioned mandatory browsing through stores located in Kharghar,Seawoods,Vashi and all the way to Bandra,Chembur.So I am happy again that i have got another Nike and now i wear that to my gym and other purposes,I'm loving this shoe,but as always,where there is too much love there is fate.

The important fact which you should know about present day is that in our home we have shoe rack outside which has a key and lock.

So,few days back mom and I saw a stray pair of Reebok lying right next to my shoe rack,we both didn't pay much attention to it,maybe someone has come in neighbours house and left it there.
And also around that time,mom took out the key from the shoe rack which dad had forgotten to keep inside while going out.So we lock the shoe rack and come back in.Dad comes back home,and inquires about the stray Reebok,i still couldn't care less.And so that day passes.

Next morning,while I am still in bed mom comes in room with that same stray Reebok and asks me whether this is my shoe.Half asleep I look at it and say "How can that be my shoe?NO,it's not MY shoe,why are you holding this shoe in my room in the first place?"As i answered this question i had already almost realized what had hap pend yesterday.So just to confirm it mom goes out and opens the shoe rack,and funny as it may seem,there sure as hell wasn't any Nike shoe lying around there.Mom confirms the same to me and I lay motionless in bed,smiling at the god above.Once again the memories of that fateful day in college sweep through my mind.

And hence the moral of the story lies in the title.

Epilogue:
I thought of buying a new pair as i needed one to wear in gym,so i set out again to browse through the stores,but as i reached Vashi,even the thought of again going to through the pain of trying out various shoes troubled my lazy mind.I knew what had to be done.I went back home empty-handed.Later in the evening i wore those same stray Reebok to gym.

No Computers,नो इंग्लिश

Last week Samajwadi Party(SP) had come out with their manifesto for Election '09,in which they had stated that if SP came into power then they would reduce the usage of Computers at workplace and curb the compulsory usage of इंग्लिश language in administration,judicial places and in schools and would rather promote national and regional languages.

My first reaction,just like any of you,when i heard this news was a mixture of WTF with a wide grin on my face.I thought,here we go back to 1960's,how can these people even think of such a thing in today's time and age? How can anyone come out with such regressive plans for people of India?With passing of time,English media bombarded questions on them asking about the same,me and most of my friends too thought they had gone crazy coming out with such an idea.And now a week later sitting in my bed,suddenly a thought stuck me.

So let me present another side of this story which i think none of us ever care to think of.I'm not defending anybody over here,but just merely trying to bring in a different perspective.

First of all let's get one thing figured out that SP is a regional party contesting elections in UP and maybe some states around UP.Now do we really think that there is a wide-spread usage of computers in villages of UP or for that matter in UP itself? Do the people over there converse in English? Does anyone even know how to read and write English?Sometime i have found myself and even some of my friends saying "Look at France,Germany,Japan,China they haven't given up on their national language,they force others to speak in their own native language and NOT in English" , BUT when it comes to our own country,we totally detest the idea of anyone speaking in Hindi or any regional language(Alright,i may not be in favor of totally regionalizing languages but Hindi will do) .

From what i gather there is widespread poverty and unemployment in UP, so does a state like that really need computerization? Yes, computers can do the work of several individuals but why would anyone in his right mind favor that in villages or small towns?Heck, Who would want to reduce the number of jobs? Why would any political party promote that?Why do we think that getting proper English education will be to utmost importance to the dalits of UP?

I would not be saying the same things if these were opinions or manifesto of a national party.But in this case I think WE,the metropolitan population,the bloggers,the Facebook/Orkut users,should really stop believing the that we make up the whole of India,when in reality ,we are not even 5% of the whole population of India.In fact we all are so disconnected from the rest of India,that not even in our dreams we can realize the state of affairs in rest of the India and especially the rural states unless we go and visit them ourselves.

Well,in the end,I guess all I want is for people to start viewing things such as these with a different perspective and not just confine the whole of India within our own small realm of Internet.

HowTo:Kill Time

Have trouble understanding Class XII integration?Dropped from college? Have no job? Are you the Project Leader of a team? The company which(after numerous unsuccessful aptitude tests and "HR" interviews) finally decided to hire you, gave you a joining date of 2019? Looks like it's time for you to kill time.

In this brief yet complete guide you'll get to know how to go about performing this seemingly simple yet intricate act of killing time.In 4 easy steps you can complete this complex act.

Step One - Get Rid of Anything Remotely Useful in your Life

If fate hasn't done this bit for you already,then the onus is upon you to take the first step.If you have a job that sucks(or otherwise)? Quit it. If you have exams coming up in 1 weeks time? Stop studying.If you have a project deadline in couple of days time? Pretend to have a migraine. and put all the burden of work on your "teammates".

So the trick is stop doing anything useful in your life,anything that can actually amount to something meaningful.This is very important step if you want to kill time,otherwise it doesn't make much sense to kill time,just for the sake of it.You should be rendered truly idle in order to proceed to Step Two.

Step Two - Kill all urges

Yes,now that you have finished Step One,there would many temptations for you to go back to your life the way it was before you took the first step,but you should first kill all such urges before you go ahead and kill time.One has to be strong and willing in order to stop such kinds of temptations to "utilize" time.

(Meaningful)Life,as you know it,is over for now.However hard it may seem,you cannot go back to your earlier life where you didn't feel any urge to kill time.One should remain oblivious to any kinds of suggestion from anyone which offer you any kind of advice or tips to do otherwise.

Step Three - Killing Time

Time,as we all know,is very precious.Nevertheless we must kill it.

This is the hardest step.After you have made yourself able , you now literally have to kill time.This would require your complete attention towards nothingness.Your complete focus should be on nothing at all.There are many ways to brutally kill time,here are few for your consideration :

• Do Nothing - One has to remain in a dormant state on his bed,starting at the wall.You can't do anything else when you have decided to kill time this way.The only thing you can do,is think.Yes,think about your dreams and your aspirations.And how they have all reduced to dust.Think, about all you ever wanted in life and instead you are staring at a freaking wall.UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES , this thinking should lead you to spoil all the work you have done in Step Two.You just have to think,and not actually do something about your life.
• Become an Orkut Stalker - Anyone can use Orkut but c'mon you are not anyone.
  In order to get more out of this social networking site,one has to find some friends ,who are very "busy" in life and don't have the time(yes,the same time which you seem have to a lot in both hands).Now since you have zeroed in on your target,visit the scarp book of this unassuming friend of yours and post something completely random and irrelevant such as copy-pasting a below scrap or just typing "+1" in his/her scrapbook.
  
  This method of killing time has two fold benefit - First,obviously it does kill time(which is your intention) and Second,it forces the other friend to reply back spewing curses in your scrapbook and thus keeping his/her account active ,saving them from facing de-activation due to inactivity.
• Start Information Overload on Facebook -Share any small piece of news you have found on the internet with other people.A Dog gave birth to a rat? Share the link.Baby Panda sneezing?Share the video.
  Another,similar yet powerful way to kill time is to keep on updating your status every 30 minutes or so.These seemingly simple acts of sharing informasion,has profound effect on the minds of others who unlike you don't have time in their hands,and so it results in some not-so-kind comments,which in turn is a boon for you since it gives you ample time to respond to those comments and anger those very people even more.
• Chat with other species of your kind - There are some legendary chats which can occur between two suspects who are charged with the murder of time.
  
  Example 1 :
  
  
  1:47 AM Suspect A: not sleeping dude ?
  1:48 AM Suspect B: ekdum phresh feel ho raha hai abhi :D
  Suspect A: awesome
  Suspect B: eheh
  1:49 AM tu kya kar raha hai?
  Suspect A: eheheh phresh ho raha hoon re
  eheh not able to sleep man
  Suspect B: haha wohi toh...u sleep in afternoon too like me?
  Suspect A: eheheh yeah
  lol
  1:50 AM Suspect B: toh ghanta neend aayegi 2 baje :D
  Suspect A: true
  aur bol kya chalu hai life mein
  1:51 AM Suspect B: bass yaar..kya chalega...wohi baithe rehte hain net pe
  log pareshan ho jate hain hum se
  Suspect A: haha
  1:52 AM awesome atleast some good from this wretched thing
  Suspect B: aur nahi toh kya....everyone is liye stop wasting time on facebook
  aree toh kya karon
  Suspect A: ehehe man
  i am so bored with everything fuck i cant tell u man
  there are no words left in me
  1:53 AM Suspect B: hahahah
  Suspect A: its liek typing on chats and mails has drained my memory
  Suspect B: i can understand man....still life

• Start Blogging - Write a post such as this.
  

Step Four - Don't Stop

Come what(ever) may,you must continue to kill time over a considerable period of time,preferably somwhere around 3-4 months before you can safely think that you have killed so much time that you wish you hadn't.But don't let the regret get to you,if it does that you are guilty as charged,otherwise you are just another person livin' it through."Enjoying" each day as it comes.


So don't get up off your seats and sit idle to kill time.


PS: " Judge not lest you be judged"

The 5 people you meet on earth

"When you die and go to heaven/hell ,and if you have made at least 5 good friends on earth then you have lived a good life"

The above quote or something on similar lines was the status message of a friend of mine.So this quote along with the subsequent conversation I had with her,somehow got stuck in my mind,and hence this post.

If you really come to think of it,friends are really the essence of this life we have.I won't go in the details of frandships and the importance of having some really good ones.So in what details i wanna go in to?? Hmmmmm,even i am not quite sure of it yet.

I'm really glad to have made some wonderful friends all through the different phases in my life.In my school/colony,the 12th std classes,RAIT,LAN/cZ,Mastek I was lucky enough to come across a wide spectrum of people,and of all those I am very certain that I have made if not many but at least quite a few good friends,i.e the sorts who would be applicable to the above quote.

As years pass,it becomes quite difficult to pinpoint the exact starting point of a good friendship or what actually makes one go along so well with a particular person.As they say, It's Written.

With some I share all of my secrets,with some I had had some really great phone calls at a time when mobile phones had not made way into all of our lives,with some I had many eventful walks at night while coming back from classes, some i have spent most of my time with in school & college,some share mutual interests and dislikes,some because of whom my scrap count is nearing 8k,with some i have eaten food at the best places all over mumbai and in few other parts of india,some who know me better than I do myself and still talk to me for who I am while expecting nothing in return and regardless of how many times i forgotten their B'days( :p ) and then those few who are lost somewhere in time.

So i guess, this a Thank-You post to all you,YOU know who you are.


PS:This post is specially dedicated to the two of you whom i forgot to add in the list :)

HowTo:Use Facebook,A Complete newbies guide to overcome self-embarrasment

Have you registered an account with Facebook and haven't logged in since then?
Do you login to Facebook once a week and get perplexed with the messages splattered across the homepage?
Do you feel puzzled by the staggering number of icons in Facebook Homepage?
Do you ever lie awake at night and wonder,"Even after completing 16 years of education of highest degree i still can't get myself to figure out this social networking site? Why GOD,WHY?"
Had you almost figured out how to use Facebook,but just about then THEY changed it?

If the answers to all the above questions is "Oh Yes,How did you know all this about me?" then you have come across just the right post my friend.Your worst nightmare is about to end soon.This guide will help you breeze through some of the basic features of Facebook as well as let you everything you (n)ever wanted to know about it.

Facebook Homepage mainly consists of the following features:

1. What's on your mind?
   Yes,Facebook WANTS to know what you are thinking.It "cares" about you ,so much so that it lets everyone know about the same.This box is used by many people(like me) to blurt out any small event in your life that no one,I Repeat -NO ONE cares about but of course you won't let that tiny little thing stop you from sharing it nonetheless.
   So the first step towards becoming a true facebook user starts here.Let your useless thoughts flow and start updating.
   
   You can Add Links,Photos,Videos and More.The internet is the limit.
   
   
2. Requests
   This can be found at extreme right hand side of the homepage.Here you get friend requests from your friends ofcourse and all other kinds of crappy request to add some applications or to join some cause.(Relax,more on these new things later).
   Remember you have the option to ignore well over here,so THINK for a moment before you accept the seemingly simple request from a "friend" ,lest you get irritated by his updates later on.
   
   
3. Main Page
   Now we are slowly progressing towards the difficult part.The main page unlike Orkut(another well known social networking site) shows you a lot of things.One can see all kinds of things going on with everyone's life in this page.
   For Example:
   
   • "XYZ is pissed off with ABC beacuse ABC thought XYX didn't care about ABC's feelings"
   • "XYZ wants grape juice"
   • "XYZ will be married in another 1 year,9 months,13 days and 22hours"
     
   • "XYX is asking very "politely" to GOD that "Why didn't the dinosaurS TAKE these god-forsaken blood-sucking mosquitoes along with them? " *shaking fists in the air* "
     
     
   The smartest thing facebook has done is that they have introduced the HIDE feature,so that you can simply hide anyone and everyone who is suffering from SUD.
   
   
4. Wall
   This feature is somewhat similar to what you call scraps in orkut but unlike there you don't keep on exchanging details to and fro over and over again.This is to be used for simply stating some piece of information or at best asking "What is UP ? " without actually expecting a reply.
   
   
5. Applications
   Now comes the hardest part.These applications can be a little unnerving for a newbie.He/She doesn't seem to understand why do i need applications in my profile.One can add games,flirts,superpoke,compare people,kisses,reputation and many many many many other non-sense apps on your profile.This is the ultimate heaven for high speed broadband users who have no life whatsoever other than their computer.
   
   If you ever come across a message such as "Do you think <insert a friends name here> has a crush on you?" OR "Do you think <insert an ugly friends name here> will make out with you?".
   Don't get hyper sensitive about it,don't start calling him/her to ask whether he/she was really serious about it ? It's just a application which randoms picks out names and adds questions to it,which you can turn off, Yes you can.
   Go To: Settings -->Application Settings --> X
   This lists all the apps your are using or rather which are using you.
   
   
6. Quizzes
   Stay the fuck away from them.
   
   
7. Misc
   
   • In order to spend more of your precious time on facebook you can add comments or LIKE stuff(which simply means,that you don't actually have to know anything about the thing that has been posted and you can simply pretend that you "like" it)
   
   
   • There's a option of chatting as well, with Online Friends visible on the bottom right-hand side.If you get pinged by friends(such as those i warned you before at the time of accepting their friend requests) with whom you don't wanna have any conversation you can choose to go Offline as well.
   
   
   • Highlights : Found on the left right side pane ,this basically consists of the summary of things which you have already seen on main page or rather which you would have "missed".
   
   
   • Pages and Groups:Join in and let the world know about your lame ass choices in music,movies,celebrities and life in general.

That's about it.This is all you need to know about Facebook.It's not as difficult as some people think it is,of course you need a lot of common sense a little bit of self exploration the kind which Orkuteers are not used to.

Happy Poking.

HowTo:Instructions and Guides on anything and everything

प्रत्याख्यान
(Disclaimer)

The below post is written in good humor and out of sheer boredom.Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely intentional.For Complaints & Grievances kindly use the comments section which may or may not result in (if any) prompt action.Though no efforts whatsoever have been made to ensure the accuracy and authenticity the content on this Portal, the same should not be construed as a statement of law or used for any legal purposes. Author apologizes in advance for the complete stupidity and uselessness of this post.


This is going to be my take on 25 Random Thingy which is on Facebook,the only minor difference is that this one doesn't have 25 things and I decided to include some of my friends in this one as well.

Listed below are upcoming 'How To' Guides, which are going to hit the shelf of a bookstore near you very soon.

• HowTo: Ruin a good picture by CharudAtta.If you like this one,then do check out his earlier bestseller HowTo: "."
• HowTo:Reply to a scarp in 7 words or less by Manas.He is currently in the process of writing his new guide HowTo:Use Rebel XTi.
• HowTo:Buy Unnecessary awesome gadgets by Pratham.Author of earlier classics like,HowTo:Meddle with course of nature.
• HowTo:Sleep with eyes and mouth wide open by Viki.
• HowTo:Eat Chillies by Neel.
• HowTo:Get bitten by a chicken by Sabu.
• HowTo:Get Knifed in cZ by Maha.
• HowTo:Smile for Photographs by Amy.She had previously written a rather horrendous personal account in HowTo:Get Poked.
• HowTo:Laugh intermittently by Tanvi.She had earlier written lesser known cult classics such as HowTo:Walk Fast and HowTo:Recommend awesome restaurants.
  
• HowTo:Sing "Barbie-Girl" with Death Growls by Chakku.
• HowTo:Create new words by Mohsin.Author of previously unpublished smash hit HowTo:Do the Nagin Dance.
• HowTo:Take Care of your Hair by Harpreet.
• HowTo:Complete B.E by Ramteke Baba.His previous achievements include HowTo:Recommend Good Music.
  
• HowTo:Wear Braces by Afra.She had earlier almost completed HowTo:Increase your height.
  
• HowTo:Eat More & Stay Skinny by Shweta.
• HowTo:Be Slow by Condi.
• HowTo:Buy costly untangable crappy earphones by Jeet.
• HowTo:Laugh Hysterically by Jisha.She is currently writing HowTo:Dance.
  
• HowTo:Not drive a car by Akshay.Also check out the prequel, HowTo:Not ride a bike.A sequel with a surprising new twist is also in the making ,HowTo: Fly an Aeroplane.
• HowTo:Stand in Queue by Shadab.
• HowTo:Hump Mountains by Gaurang.
• HowTo:Party All Night by jO.
• HowTo:Screw Up by YOU.
  

And last but definitely not the least,here's a few guides by yours truly:

• HowTo:Waste Time.
  
• HowTo:Fail miserably in Aptitude Tests.
• HowTo:Fidget with your face and hair.
  

Things I Noticed : RAIT Alumni Meet '09

So as i visited my 2nd Alumni Meet yesterday,here's a list of few things that i felt would be worth remembering few years down the line :

• People still come few hrs later than IST.So that's good.
• As i walked in the gates on my college with Viki,it felt less of a reunion and more like every other weekend.
  
• Ramteke Baba looked rather hilarious in a shirt.Stick to your tees and cargos. :D
• Mohsin was found walking around the college arranging stuff for the event with his customary headphones.
  
• Viki knows far greater number of people that I do.It felt stupid to keep staring at the ground or at some random tree while he conversed with them.
• Tees available on sale looked a bit uninspired.So did the name of Alumni Magazine.
  
• I finally gave Baba a chance to profess his long overdue unrequited love :P
• Viki sorely missed the company of 2 of his groupies(The BIG A & A) :D
• After my 1st year in RAIT the in-house metal scene was pretty much on the decline and this time around it felt as if it was officially dead.R.I.P.
• Continuing our long-lasting tradition of humiliating the incoming bands in our college,no one gave even a rat's ass about the band.So much so that the lead singer was down in the ground,looking back and cheering rest of his "band".
  
• Mohsin was the sole representative from the entire college who undertook the task of standing in front of the stage and giving the band encouragement of sorts.
• There was a strong sense of solidarity amongst the classmates of A Div., Computers 2k7.
• Our class on the other hand did show a very strong sense of Americanization.O Bro's Where Art Thou??
  
• After 2 years it gets a little hard to remember all the names of your batch mates ,but we did found a very ingenious way to overcome that embarrassing situation.Whenever you come across some guy whom you know but STILL can't get yourself to remember his name,you just have to go like this " Abe BC, TUUUUUU ? Kaisa hai be ?? "
• Chicken and the food in general was superb as it was last year as well.Although Chick Lollypop was gravely missed.
• Backdoors of two cars looked like a kickass bar of any suburban pubs.
• Booze was,is, and will always be cheaper than soft-drinks.To be preciese it was 10 bucks cheaper.*
• I truly appreciate the efforts put in by everyone who was involved in organizing this event.
• For what it's worth,if given a chance,I would attend another Alumni meet.
• RAIT will always have a special place in all of our hearts,Period.

* Soft-Drinks were priced at Rs.10 a glass.

Mini Movie Reivews

These days i am on a movie binge of sorts,and which i plan to increase many folds in next few days Here's a list of movies i have seen in past few days and my views on the same:

• Frost/Nixon : Engaging political drama inspired from true events taken place between tv show host David Frost and recently disgraced president Richard Nixon.The movie shows the historic interview and all the events that took place in order to organize that interview.Splendid performances by Michael Sheen and Frank Langella(nominated in Best Actor Category for Oscars '09) and also a good supporting cast led by one of my favourties,Sam Rockwell.Must Watch.
• The Visitor:An Endearing human drama.Full On.No guns,no bombs exloding,no car chases.Just pure character developement and gripping human emotions.Once in a lifetime performace by Richard Jenkins(Nominated for Best Actor),he just gets in the skin of his charcter from the first scene.Must Watch.
• The Wrestler:A much anticipated movie from one of my favourite director Darrren Aronofsky ,as always he chooses a different subject altogheter,a follow up to RFAD,and The fountain, don't know why but i was a bit disappointed by this one.This movie is basically a character study of the aging wrestler played to the hilt by Mickey Rourke(Nominated for Best Actor).He shows behind the scenes in the wrestling business and how the fame and the adulation and more imporatantly the love for the crowd is all that remains in a wrestler's life.Can be watched atleast once.
• Gran Torino:Clint Eastwood is THE man.Period
• How to lose friends and alienate people:Simon Pegg takes care of most of the proceedings in this movie.He pwns the movie.Funny movie in most of the parts plus there is Kristen Dunst(sweet,adorable) and Megan Fox(HOT).One of those movies to be seen with friends on a nightout.
• Zack and Miri Make a Porno:Yeah Yeah enough for the reactions.Seth Rogen,Elizabeth Banks have been platonic friends forever and they device an ingenious way to come out of their credit crunch.Yeah you guessed it right.Totally tp movie,just like the above one.Watch it.
• National Tresaure:Book of Secrets : Yeah i don't know hy i watched this one but i always wanted to see atleast one of the National Treasure movies.Had no expectations from it and it surely topped that.Great Ensemble cast saved this movie for me.Cage,Jon Voight,Helen Mirren,Ed Haris,Harvey Keitel,Diane Kruger,and that sidekick.Popcorn flick,buckheimer ishtyle.
• Dev.D:Kashyap finally redeemed himself for No Smoking(Personally i didn't hate that movie so much).Abhay Deol continues his golden streak of hindie cinema.I'm totally on his side.He is perfect as Dev.D.Some pretty fundoo dialogues shattering all taboos imaginable in hinid cinema or india in genreal.Though the movie could have done some editing and the ending could have been so much better.
• LOST Season 5: It's getting better with age.As Macd would have said it; I'm Lovin' it.
  
• Auf der anderen Seite(The Edge of Heaven):Saved the best for the last.Beautiful Cinema,Beautifully shot and directed.This one deserves a review of it's own.So yeah obviously a must watch.

Movies on my playlist:

• Che Part One
• Gegen die Wand(Head On)
  
• Gomorra
• Australia(God knows WHY)
• Waltz with Bashir
• Leaving Las Vegas.
  

An Ode to Mumbai

And so it happened AGAIN.

It's a Wednesday.(Who knew that a movie title could well turn out to be cliche of sorts)You come home from office at night,have your dinner and watch India beat the shit outta England. Think of changing status on your facebook account, as you are about to get up from sofa,mom switches to news channel showing a news piece about certain firing in mumbai.
You think this must be some silly firing among some groups or police encounter at best.

You go in your room and log onto net.10 mins down the line,you hear mom shouting come out,there seem to be more to this firing.As you blink your eyes,the ticker on the television channel start reading out the names of places where the firing has supposedly happened.Leopold.Hmm maybe someone has got off the hook.But Leopold?

CST station,TAJ,Oberoi.You think surely this can't be happening,it can't be that serious.Ville-Parle,JJ,Colaba.Shock starts to sink in,coz this just might be happening after all.But u still wonder,is it really happening at 11 in the night and that too CST,TAJ.Cmon'.

Live pictures start to pour in:People crawling on the road outside CST station,police escorting some people towards the safe zone,gunshots,some police men firing at unseen targets.You see this gathering momentum every second.CAMA hospital,GT Hospital under siege.Thoughts starts bouncing off the walls of your skull , just exactly how many of 'em are roaming around in South Bombay,are they firing with friggin' AKs,Can someone actually just fire openly on the roads of mumbai?

More news starts to pour in.Hostage situation in TAJ,Oberoi.Oh this can't be happening,they have taken over the both of 'em?You feel sleepy,you think this might get over in sometime.

You Sleep.You Wake up.Mom says this one has gone outta control.mum on high alert.they are loaded and they are on a killing spree at TAJ,Oberoi,Nariman House.

And as you go ahead with rest of your day and come back home(yeah there is no respite in IT).You watch images of TAJ burning.The very hotel which has been associated with mumbai to the very core.You see smoke coming out of TAJ ,as if it is Kashmir or Baghdad burning.But hold on, this is mumbai.OUR mumbai.Anger starts to sink in,it's been so long,what is really happening in there,how many mofos are with AKs in there,how many innocent people are still trapped inside these buildings.

Another day passes ,and more images of grenade explosions,fire,gunshots,blood start to fill your head.You pray for the safety of those still inside and feel sad for those who lost their lives in this ordeal.Still there seems to be no respite,as you know these mofos won't give in. They just aren't built that way.They know that the this will only end after they die but before that they'll take everything down with 'em.And that is visible with even more grenade explosions in TAJ.

You wonder just how much ammo they have bought with 'em,But hold on they can't just have bought this much ammo in their hands or bags.Surely they must have kept the explosives and ammo inside the rooms before they came in.So this is indeed an intricate plan.Meticulous planning must have been involved in it,after all you can't just bring in shitload of ammo inside TAJ the grand entrance ! The questions don't seem to end.Emotionally drained and confused,you think that all we'll be back to normal in few days anyways.Just don't think about it much...well yeah...i.e until the next one.

Mumbai-a city that never sleeps. Well this just might be true in more that one way that we could ever had imagined.

And i Missed You Too

SO......It feels quite weird to type in my own blog after some 6 months i guess.I somehow just stopped posting over here ,somewhere around august and it was that period of time in my life when i was truly and completely free and had nothing but time with me.But some part of me didn't feel like posting my worthless daily routines over here and then i just completely lost track of posting in my precioussssshh(as goloum would say).

Anywhoo all that is long time ago , things have changed since then and HOW.Well obviously you'll don't know how but i simply love this rheotoric kinda lines :D But i am not in the mood to tell ya that actually(simply coz it's nothing special and just mundane stuff) , but just that i am trying very hard to bring back the optimist in myself.Since the past month i have become this dull and bored kinda individual who is just living it thru one day at a time.And it's not like i have anything bad goin on in my life but just that it doesn't feel the right thing , but i guess it's probably the only thing i'll have to do for sometime at least.

As you can see i have used a lot of BUT in this post(no pun intended) but i can't help it , coz that's how confused i am...AS EVER.I really pray that i get some sense and find the thing that i have always wanted in life....whatever that is...

PS:As i write this post i feel alive again :)

Kumble's 110* ! Now i have seen everything !!!

Bhai zoke ho gaya yeh toh !!!!!

I have no other words to express my feelings at this remarkable new low achieved by the English bowlers.


PS: To Hell with your articulation pable !!!

Smilin' Days

:-)

Alas !!! Hype Prevails

**SPOILER AHEAD , DON"T BLAME ME LATER !!**

And So it has ended FINALLY.I couldn't think of posting this review without letting out the plot details so anyone who is interested in reading book 7 should stop reading this review right now.

The Book started off at a very high pace with the 'dark lord" and his humble servants beating up people in order to find out the location of a certain boy named harry potter. :D and then i thought everything was happening too fast , things strated changing very fast and people attacking from here and there.

Then for afterwards for a long period of time all the things involved around the troubleseeking trio, and in that period i particularly didn't like certain repetation of same pharse's over and over For Ex : Hermione telling harry to close the link between his mind and voldy's. I suppose that line was repeated almost 3 times. Although i liked the characters of ron , herminone themselves , i thought the friendship shown between those 3 was good.

But as the plot started to unfold things started falling into place as if the gods themselves have shown them the way , there were too many coincidences and cliches.And then she introduced the plot of deathy hallows and a stupid fairy tale to go along with it.What i don't understand about this is just one thing : WHY ? IMHO i thought the deathly hallows didn't serve any purpose and just helped to fill in some more pages.

Halfway through i started thinking maybe , just maybe this book is going towards a different ending( although my friends had already told me that they were disappointed) but then the Chapters of Prince's tale and King Cross dashed all my hopes. How could she just take the easiest way out, cmon after all this hype about killing people and after so many , all she could find was THIS ending.Especially in king's cross chapter she bought back albus to give all the answers and Prince's tale snape got himself freed of all his guilt and became the good guy , i mean albus telling snape to kill himself could have been prediceted even by a num-skull who has read the previous book.

And the way voldermort , THE greatest dark wizard of all time, the DARK LORD himself blah blah got killed was simply "mindblowing"

IMHO all the books that preceeded Goblet of fire are just as a result of hype created around it and a marketting gimick.I really don't think order of phoneix needed to be 700 odd pages long , she filled in all the fillers she could find just so the book got longer and more importantly costlier.And after contemplating some more into this i think she could as well as written Book 7 after book no. 4 or 3 itself. All's well that ends. !!


PS: Harry potter is not real, i just hope i don't get beaten up by my fellow "loyal" potter fans.

This is Unusual !

I just can't bulive that i'm writing a blog entry while there is sunlight.Today i woke up at 8 and that too in the morning mind you ! And i'm awake in the morning hours from 9-1. i have a very faint distant memory of this period of time when i am at home.

Have used up most of time since then to write the post below this , which i orginally posted at mouthshut dot com ( which btw is a very ironic name for a site where everyone just doesn't seem to keep their mouths shut) while listening to the debut album by Wolfmother ; Hell yeah old school heavy metal is back. Damn good album. Then as i waited for my friends to log onto orkut, i listened to some more music. And then the usual chitchat and scrapping on orkut started and as a proof of the kinda rubbish i usually chat with my "dear" friend dAtta here's few scraps for your viewing pleasure only :D ::

Neeraj^Zeitgeist: Word Of Advice : Cornflakes taste pathetic if u take them just after brushing your teeth.
Charudatta: arrey i knew that...so does tea in cornflakes...
once i had only enough milk to make tea...so made it, then got hungry aswell...so poured the tea in with the conrflakes...
Neeraj^Zeitgeist: THE born losers are HERE !!
Charudatta: yeassss! dude...pathetic would be an understatement for us

And now i'm posting this thing as i have nothing better to do. I guess i'll order some food in sometime and then catch with friends in the afternoon.

MY Director's Special

What follows is a list of my favourite Movie Director's , and you may or may not agree with the list but nonetheless this list will provide you a list of brilliant movies which you must watch at all cost(i.e if you haven't done it already). SO here it goes ( The following list is in no particular order) :

I) Stanley Kubrick :
This guy was simply way ahead of his times.For Ex. in his movie The Killing (1951) he had used the non-linear style of story-telling which was later made famous by tarintino in the 90's.He has made some movies which has influenced some of the best directors of recent times.He has made movies in wide spectrum of genres viz war,sci-fic,horror,ultra-violent.

Essential Viewings : The Killing(1951),Paths Of Glory(1957),Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb(1964) [ This is one of the most hilarious movies i have ever seen in my life ] , A Clockwork Orange(1971), Full Metal Jacket(1987)

II] Coen Brothers :
They are THE master of Black Comedies.They have got some of the best written scripts in their movies and they somehow extract brilliant performances from their actors.Many of their movies have metaphorical aspect in them, and may not be understood well by the "pop-culture" kinda crowd(Refer :Barton Fink,The Hudsucker Proxy). I enjoy black comedies and intelligent cinema , i have loved almost their every movie , because of the subtle humor in their movies.I would really recommend all of you to watch their movies if you like to laugh out loud at something other than slapstick comedies.

Essential Viewings:Blood Simple,Fargo,The Big Lebowski,O Brother Where Art Thou,Barton Fink,The Hudsucker Proxy,Miller's Crossing.

III] Christopher Nolan :
This guy caught my attention when i first watched Memento, that flick was simply amazing,it blew me away completely with it's unusual way of storytelling.Insomnia was also very good directed movie.I also loved what he did with Batman Begins and how he gave that movie a (much needed) dark overture.AND then he made The Prestige which again has a very non-linear way of storytelling involving magicians, a very different storyline.

Essential Viewings: Memento,The Prestige

IV] Guy Ritchie :
Some of THE best witty lines in movies are written by him.His Movies can be watched over and over and over again, and the best part is that it gets better with repeated viewings.Lock,Stock,And Two smoking barrels,and Snatch are my favourite con/Robbery/Black comedies i have ever seen.You never know when the scene changes from a guy making joke about something and getting his hand chopped off in the next scene.His movies are VERY VERY funny and violent at times. Special Mention to his movie Revolver over here because like his earlier movies this one also has killer lines but along with it has a underlying metaphor which simply with mess up with your mind.

Essential Viewings : Lock,Stock And 2 Smoking Barrels , Snatch , Revolver

V] Steven Spielberg:
Well i can't say that i have watched all of his movies but i have added him onto this list coz of 2 reasons : Schindler's List & Saving Private Ryan. I absolutely enjoyed these two epics he made.The way he made Schindler's list was amazing and the attention to detail in Saving Private Ryan was mind blowing. The war scenes were too good.

Essential Viewings : Schindler's List,Saving Private Ryan,Jurassic Park,ET

VI] Martin Scorsese :
Martin Scorsese + Robert DeNiro=Magic.
Has made remarkable movies in which he has extracted some of the finest acting from deniro.Just watch Taxi Driver or Raging Bull and you'll know what i'm talking about.

Essential Viewings : Mean Streets,Taxi Driver,Raging Bull,Goodfellas

VII] Darren Aronofsky :
This guy has a different way of putting things.It hits you like a bullet train.Some of the scenes in RFAD are etched in my mind along with the haunting music.RFAD has to be in my list of fav. of movies.It was one of the most depressing movie i have EVER seen in my life and it was brilliant. The fountain also had a very different concept and was very beautifully shot.

Essential Viewings : Pi,Requiem for a Dream,The Fountain

IX] Francis Ford Coppola :
Well i HAD to add the godfather himself to my list.Period.

Essential Viewings : The Godfather pt.II ( because it's my fav of the 3), The Godfather , Apocalypse Now

X] Quentin Tarantino :
So HE makes my list complete.I don't think there is much to say about this guy than what all has been said before, though i still can't forgive him about how he killed Grindhouse with his Death-Proof

Essential Viewings: Reservoir Dogs,Pulp Fiction,Kill Bill

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Honorable Mentions :
Alejandro González Iñárritu
Chan-wook Park
Guillermo del Toro
Spike Jonze
Michel Gondry
Brian De Palma
Roman Polanski