An Ode To No One

Me , Myself & Mumbai ,RA!T, Movies , Music , Books , TV , Ramblings.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Summer of My Satisfaction

Summer and I go very well together.I'm lazy and she goes out of her way to make life even more lazier for me.When I'm all strung out and exhausted by the demanding situations in my life,summer comes through like sunshine in a dark stormy night.Over the years whenever i had a terrible time coping up life,summer came up as solace.

Summer always gives me the time and space i need to do my own thing,even if my own thing doesn't amount to much. Last year before coming to the states, i had lots of time in my hand,and in the hindsight it was all for the better.I got to relax and others got to read some more depressing/angry/mindless posts.Hah.

Summer and I had a wonderful time this year.A rather better part of summer was spent at CJ's house along with ze mark.The kinda jokes that were cracked in that house,the kinda talks that were shared in that house,are beyond the boundaries of a sane mind.Endless hours were spent talking about everything and anything under the sun.From talking about the times we had in the past one year,to talking about the lack of any direction,and by talking i mean cursing. 

I still remember the day when we bought CJs gigantic television.The U-hauling and the over pricing.Hah it was fun.This was just the beginning that ended with our addiction with ze xbox.Modern Warfare 2 was the lone savior of our lives,along with a cameo by Trials HD.We spent weekends at a stretch completing the game.(Yes Jaggu, i said it the game) know it's just a video game but the kind of exhilaration we had,the kind of abuses that were spewed every other mind,while completing those missions is/are priceless.

Now its time to bid summer farewell.Even though my room mate tries his best to paint a pessimistic/truthful picture ,I see a cheerful and a optimistic Fall,and by Fall i mean the season.This time off has really prepped me up for another semester.I have lots of things in mind that i want to accomplish and i firmly believe that I'll get by..with a little help from my friends. 

There is always a point,i might fail to see the point in the present,but without a fail,every time,i have realized it in the hindsight.No Regret,No Remorse.Moving on.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

The Summer of My Discontent

Summer and I don't go very well together.She,for reasons unknown, has always been very harsh on me.The past three months have had a striking resemblance to last year.Last year,I thought this is as bad as it can get,but as always fate was determined to prove me wrong.And wrong i was.Last year i was bored out of my freaking mind being alone at home while there others who were bored out of their own freaking mind by being alone at home and we used to communicate through the holy medium of internet.But this year we have joined forces.

Summer usually applies this Modus Operandi:At first when she's yet to come,she entices me with the grand hope of accomplishment,fulfillment and all things inspirational.Then as she comes closer and when I'm not paying attention she covertly changes her plans(Yes,she's convoluted).As i wait in vain,Summer then arrives and all that is left is a vaguer hope of getting through it with minimum damage.

Summer alone is not responsible for this.For this? For this? For what? Boredom? Discontent?  Restlessness? Habit? The answer is never clear,the lines are always blurred.

I have now started to accept that discontent will always be a part of me.It's in my by design.How much ever i try to deny that,or to fight that it doesn't seem to go away.It fades away for a while only to come back stronger that ever before.On the other hand this feeling of discontentment is the one responsible for all the good things in my life.Bitch.

I'm never discontent in the true sense of the word,i always accept what i get with arms wide open because it's always for the better but at the same time a part of me resents it.A part of me knows that i can do much better,but the other part says "maaf hai".I don't know if that's funny or scary.I remember saying to certain someone yesterday that "i can give best piece of advice to anyone and i can cheer up people during troubled times,wish i could do it myself as well".Or at least someone else would.

Okay,so my perspective has shifted a bit during the course of writing this post.Now as a result of a conversation i am wondering "Really,am i too harsh on myself?". Do i like this feeling of judging myself on my own terms and then wallowing in that feeling of discontentment? Sometimes i do feel that my mind goes overboard with all the thoughts.The imploding voice inside my head really fucks me up.On the outside i can work,watch a movie,share a joke,crack a bad joke(i mean a really really really bad joke) but on the inside my thoughts keep tearing me apart.

I guess there's no point.The specifics hardly matter.Kalti.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

A Perfect Circle

Okay,so where do i begin?
It's hard to believe that my last blog post is dated July 23,2009(not taking into consideration my previous post).It was exactly a day before i was to leave for Amrika.I still remember that strange feeling within.All those nights,when i used to sit back in my balcony in Udayagiri staring at those planes flying across the sky,wondering where i am headed.Contemplating what is that i am supposed to do after i finish my engineering.I remember it was sometime in T.E when everyone was giving their GRE,while me and pable discussed our future.Those random/philosophical/lengthy yahoo chats with Manas about weighing the pros/cons of coming to US,masters,MBA and everything in between.Those confused thoughts going through my mind all through those years.Going forward with these thoughts work started and still my mind wasn't fully occupied,somewhere deep inside something didn't feel right.So then as the cliche goes, universe conspired to get things in motion and after that night i was also going to walk on through to the other side.

As far as life over here goes,it's been a pretty exciting.Most of the things over here were,just the way i though they would be.EXCESS - that is the only word to describe Amrika.I'll save my thoughts on Amrika for some other post.Everyone gets by over here,with a bit of faith.If you lose optimism over here,you lose everything.There were times when the words didn't seem optimistic but inside my heart everything did feel right.It wasn't like those previous years.There were testing times,i(along with others) worked till wee hours in the morning,learnt to make some fat-ass burritos,got to know several dozen types of meats and cheese,stocked all varieties of chocolates,gums, but it was all worth it.I still remember the conversations nair and I used to have in highland, somewhat similar to ones described earlier in the posts.I would not change a single thing.As time passed by I got everything i deserved and more. Just a little bit of faith is required.

Largely due the close proximity of my destined university ,I also got to cross some places off my to-visit list which i had made during engineering days.Previous winter i got to see vegas, which was fun.Those blinding lights,the fountains of bellagio,the grandness of MGM grand,quite awesome.And even more importantly i traveled to the city
(technically,a state) of my dreams(as cheesy as it may sound but that's the truth,i was/am obsessed with it,balme that on the internet/hollywood) :California.Pable and his co-op was the perfect excuse to go to San Diego.I really had an amazing time traveling to there alone and even more so traveling with "them" within SD and LA.The ocean is really breathtaking ,reminiscent of Mumbai.

With the blink of an eye,I am more than half way though this course.Most of the things Jisha mentioned in an comment on one of my last posts turned out to be true.Things changed and for better or worse, I changed.

And so with this post i am trying to reach a perfect circle and start posting more often on my blog.It feels good to be back again.Cheers!

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

GOMCHA Experience :Data Transformers (Casa Video)

Google Online Marketing Challenge(or, GOMCHA as it was lovingly referred to as the project started to take shape) was the name of the project that was introduced to us as a part of our course work in MIS 587 Business Intelligence.GOMCHA presented before us an opportunity to work for a local small-mid sized business.Each team received $200 of free online advertising to promote the selected business through creative online marketing campaign.

The first step for this challenge was to select a local business.From the beginning we had a plan that we need to select a business that is not very big in terms of employee strength but at the same time, the chosen business should be popular amongst the local crowd. Many of our group members were movie and television buffs ,so we came up with the idea of approaching Casa Video,an local DVD rental store.The initial meeting with our client was setup and even our client Ms.Gala seemed thrilled with the idea of obtaining free publicity and exposure to different customer segment through our campaign.

Now,the second step we did as a team was to formulate a pre-campaign strategy which helped us in the long run, as we had a well defined strategy in place before the start of actual campaign.As a part of our strategy we decided to focus on customer segmentation based on different age groups.We formulated two campaigns for people in age group of 17-30 yrs and 30-45 yrs.This step helped us in choosing creative keywords targeting specific customer segment.We also created a third campaign called as '2-for-1 offers' which focused on leveraging the in-store offer of proving the customer an opportunity to rent two DVDs for the price of one !

We ran these campaigns for a period of three weeks while monitoring the website statistics and usage information on regular basis.Google Analytics is a excellent tool which includes a user-friendly dashboard showing the essential metrics that we required to measure the effectiveness of our client's website.We monitored metrics such as Cost Per Click(CPC), Click through Rate(CTR),No.of visitors, No.of unique visitors in order to determine where our campaign was lacking and what steps were needed to put it back on track.It also helped us to reformulate our strategy related to our daily budget limit.

By the end of three weeks, we were successful in increasing the number of visitors to Casa Video online website which also resulted in spreading the awareness about the niche video store that has a huge collection of various movies(especially foreign films),television series,documentaries.However were not as successful as we wanted to be with regards to the number of sales the campaign achieved.Some of the hurdles we faced to realize our target were:
Lack of dynamic content in website.Targeting local customers through Google search engine. Keeping the interest of customers visiting the website for greater amount of time i.e high bounce rate.In the end , without a shade of doubt this challenge was responsible for sharpening our learning curve.Each one of us not only got accustomed to the basics of marketing strategies but also learned the usage of different metrics used in web analytics along with the underlying meaning behind each one of those metrics.GOMCHA was a win-win situation for both our team as well as our client.

This is what our team members had to say regarding the GOMCHA Experience :

Kumar Says:
“The GOMCHA project has been an eye opener, giving me perspective into web analytics helping me understand the Web in a new way.”
Kunal says:
“GOMCHA came a long way from where we started and where we ended, it was a true learning experience which helped us understand the dynamics of analytics in a real world”
Anand says:
"GOMCHA was an excellent platform to demonstrate the marketing abilities I had gained in my previous work experience and apply those skills to real world business challenges"
Aniket says:
" The practical knowledge that I have gained as a result of GOMCHA has been immense.I am now able to understand how web analytics acts as an enabler to improve online businesses.
Charu says:
"GOMCHA was a very practical and enriching experience for us as it helped us develop an understanding of online marketing strategies, client relationships and marketing analytics and also gave us a hands on experience in managing the AdWords Campaign"
Neeraj says :
" The entire campaign touched base of variety of concepts which are extremely critical in today's day and age.The advent of Web 2.0 has made it even more important to gain real work experience in web analytics focused on some business domain"

- Data Transformers

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


I had always thought of posting one blog entry the day before I leave.So here I am doing the same,amidst the chaos of work that is still pending.

That weird feeling has started to sunk in just a wee bit now.I'm feeling somewhat uneasy,mostly because of my procrastination.It was a good day,met all of my ex-office buddies in the afternoon,caught up with a good friend of mine after a long time in the evening.On the other hand,could quite catch up with couple of friends and I'm feeling really bad about that.

So that's that.

Miss you all ,and see you on the Other Side.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

In July

Last couple of weeks were pretty much a blur for me.

Drive,Shop,Sleep.Meet relatives,leave relatives.Meet friends,leave friends.Drive,Shop,Sleep.Lunch here,dinner there.Windows crash,Tweet Tweet.Drive,Shop,Sleep.

And the shopping didn't actually end,I guess mads was right in claiming that it won't ever end.

All in all,it was exactly the kinda experience i was looking forward to.I'm still not sure how to describe the entire experience of past month.It sure has been a emotional roller-coaster(pardon the cliche or you may not).There has been an unexpected detour,some apprehensions and a lot of talking to self.

I vividly remember this time of the month,last year.Watching friends leave and wondering what'll be happening to me during the course of a year.I found out the answer to that question.

Monday, June 15, 2009


Definition :The mohsintionary describes it as the collusion of a multitude of pissing events happening in succession or close proximity to each other and furthering the destructive (pissing) effect than could have been caused by each such event in individuality.

For far too long,I have been judged and derided. For far too long.

For far too long, I have kept quiet,nodded,even smiled while listening to each one of YOU.Day in and day out someone or the other has kept on prodding me with his/her witty one-liners,although,I'm not saying that any of it was ill-intended but when the levee breaks,the flood's going to flow.

For far too long ,I have heard, from the 'Holier Than Thou' kind,about how I have been wasting my time,about how I am online all the time,about how I have nothing else to do,about facebooking,about orkuting,about gtalking,about virtually anything at all I have been doing(or rather the lack of it),about how sitting idle is apparently some kind of Blasphemy,about how I should find something "useful" to do,about "updating" too many times a day.

So at this point in time,I am all out of patience and ignorance.I am feeling a strange mixture of anger and motivation.Tide doesn't take much time to turn,God willing,it will turn.But for now I'm sitting in my room.

And waiting.

And wishing.

If only,self-righteous people had mirrors in their houses.

Pissenstance,Copyright © held by Wendol.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

GOD hates NIKE......

.......or at least he/she doesn't like me wearing one of those.

3-4 Years Earlier,
Few days had passed since i had bought my brand new Nike shoes,I am the kinda person who doesn't buy shoes easily,by easily i mean that i browse through at least five to ten different brands in various malls and factory outlets before i finally choose THE pair.One important fact you should know is about the strange rule in my college library:One has to remove his shoes outside before he enters the "Air-conditioned" library" and this is BY ORDER.

Well so obviously i couldn't argue with "BY ORDER" ,so I removed my shoes outside the library and went inside.I still can't think of a good reason why i would have gone inside the library except maybe to get some assignments.Anyhoo the day was about to get over and I came back outside to head back home,so I start looking for my shoes,i repeat brand new shoes,and funny as it may seem,there sure as hell weren't there ! The moment it stuck me I thought of shouting "Chor Chor" but then thought otherwise.Everyone left and the only pair of shoe remaining was the one which my new friend had decided to leave for me,his own worn out shoes,while he walked away in my nike.

April 2009:
After all those years now I have bought another pair of Nike,which passed all the aforementioned mandatory browsing through stores located in Kharghar,Seawoods,Vashi and all the way to Bandra,Chembur.So I am happy again that i have got another Nike and now i wear that to my gym and other purposes,I'm loving this shoe,but as always,where there is too much love there is fate.

The important fact which you should know about present day is that in our home we have shoe rack outside which has a key and lock.

So,few days back mom and I saw a stray pair of Reebok lying right next to my shoe rack,we both didn't pay much attention to it,maybe someone has come in neighbours house and left it there.
And also around that time,mom took out the key from the shoe rack which dad had forgotten to keep inside while going out.So we lock the shoe rack and come back in.Dad comes back home,and inquires about the stray Reebok,i still couldn't care less.And so that day passes.

Next morning,while I am still in bed mom comes in room with that same stray Reebok and asks me whether this is my shoe.Half asleep I look at it and say "How can that be my shoe?NO,it's not MY shoe,why are you holding this shoe in my room in the first place?"As i answered this question i had already almost realized what had hap pend yesterday.So just to confirm it mom goes out and opens the shoe rack,and funny as it may seem,there sure as hell wasn't any Nike shoe lying around there.Mom confirms the same to me and I lay motionless in bed,smiling at the god above.Once again the memories of that fateful day in college sweep through my mind.

And hence the moral of the story lies in the title.

I thought of buying a new pair as i needed one to wear in gym,so i set out again to browse through the stores,but as i reached Vashi,even the thought of again going to through the pain of trying out various shoes troubled my lazy mind.I knew what had to be done.I went back home empty-handed.Later in the evening i wore those same stray Reebok to gym.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

No Computers,नो इंग्लिश

Last week Samajwadi Party(SP) had come out with their manifesto for Election '09,in which they had stated that if SP came into power then they would reduce the usage of Computers at workplace and curb the compulsory usage of इंग्लिश language in administration,judicial places and in schools and would rather promote national and regional languages.

My first reaction,just like any of you,when i heard this news was a mixture of
WTF with a wide grin on my face.I thought,here we go back to 1960's,how can these people even think of such a thing in today's time and age? How can anyone come out with such regressive plans for people of India?With passing of time,English media bombarded questions on them asking about the same,me and most of my friends too thought they had gone crazy coming out with such an idea.And now a week later sitting in my bed,suddenly a thought stuck me.

So let me present another side of this story which i think none of us ever care to think of.I'm not defending anybody over here,but just merely trying to bring in a different perspective.

First of all let's get one thing figured out that SP is a regional party contesting elections in UP and maybe some states around UP.Now do we really think that there is a wide-spread usage of computers in villages of UP or for that matter in UP itself? Do the people over there converse in English? Does anyone even know how to read and write English?Sometime i have found myself and even some of my friends saying "Look at France,Germany,Japan,China they haven't given up on their national language,they force others to speak in their own native language and NOT in English" , BUT when it comes to our own country,we totally detest the idea of anyone speaking in Hindi or any regional language(Alright,i may not be in favor of totally regionalizing languages but Hindi will do) .

From what i gather there is widespread poverty and unemployment in UP, so does a state like that really need computerization? Yes, computers can do the work of several individuals but why would anyone in his right mind favor that in villages or small towns?Heck, Who would want to reduce the number of jobs? Why would any political party promote that?Why do we think that getting proper English education will be to utmost importance to the dalits of UP?

I would not be saying the same things if these were opinions or manifesto of a national party.But in this case I think WE,the metropolitan population,the bloggers,the Facebook/Orkut users,should really stop believing the that we make up the whole of India,when in reality ,we are not even 5% of the whole population of India.In fact we all are so disconnected from the rest of India,that not even in our dreams we can realize the state of affairs in rest of the India and especially the rural states unless we go and visit them ourselves.

Well,in the end,I guess all I want is for people to start viewing things such as these with a different perspective and not just confine the whole of India within our own small realm of Internet.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

HowTo:Kill Time

Have trouble understanding Class XII integration?Dropped from college? Have no job? Are you the Project Leader of a team? The company which(after numerous unsuccessful aptitude tests and "HR" interviews) finally decided to hire you, gave you a joining date of 2019? Looks like it's time for you to kill time.

In this brief yet complete guide you'll get to know how to go about performing this seemingly simple yet intricate act of killing time.In 4 easy steps you can complete this complex act.

Step One - Get Rid of Anything Remotely Useful in your Life

fate hasn't done this bit for you already,then the onus is upon you to take the first step.If you have a job that sucks(or otherwise)? Quit it. If you have exams coming up in 1 weeks time? Stop studying.If you have a project deadline in couple of days time? Pretend to have a migraine. and put all the burden of work on your "teammates".

So the trick is stop doing anything useful in your life,anything that can actually amount to something meaningful.This is very important step if you want to kill time,otherwise it doesn't make much sense to kill time,just for the sake of it.You should be rendered truly idle in order to proceed to Step Two.

Step Two - Kill all urges

Yes,now that you have finished Step One,there would many temptations for you to go back to your life the way it was before you took the first step,but you should first
kill all such urges before you go ahead and kill time.One has to be strong and willing in order to stop such kinds of temptations to "utilize" time.

(Meaningful)Life,as you know it,is over for now.However hard it may seem,you
cannot go back to your earlier life where you didn't feel any urge to kill time.One should remain oblivious to any kinds of suggestion from anyone which offer you any kind of advice or tips to do otherwise.

Step Three - Killing Time

Time,as we all know,is very precious.Nevertheless we must kill it.

This is the hardest step.After you have made yourself able , you now literally have to kill time.This would require your complete attention towards
nothingness.Your complete focus should be on nothing at all.There are many ways to brutally kill time,here are few for your consideration :

  • Do Nothing - One has to remain in a dormant state on his bed,starting at the wall.You can't do anything else when you have decided to kill time this way.The only thing you can do,is think.Yes,think about your dreams and your aspirations.And how they have all reduced to dust.Think, about all you ever wanted in life and instead you are staring at a freaking wall.UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES , this thinking should lead you to spoil all the work you have done in Step Two.You just have to think,and not actually do something about your life.
  • Become an Orkut Stalker - Anyone can use Orkut but c'mon you are not anyone.
    In order to get more out of this social networking site,one has to find some friends ,who are very "busy" in life and don't have the time(yes,the same time which you seem have to a lot in both hands).Now since you have zeroed in on your target,visit the scarp book of this unassuming friend of yours and post something completely random and irrelevant such as copy-pasting a below scrap or just typing "+1" in his/her scrapbook.

    This method of killing time has two fold benefit - First,obviously it does kill time(which is your intention) and Second,it forces the other friend to reply back spewing curses in your scrapbook and thus keeping his/her account active ,saving them from facing de-activation due to inactivity.
  • Start Information Overload on Facebook -Share any small piece of news you have found on the internet with other people.A Dog gave birth to a rat? Share the link.Baby Panda sneezing?Share the video.
    Another,similar yet powerful way to kill time is to keep on updating your status every 30 minutes or so.These seemingly simple acts of sharing informasion,has profound effect on the minds of others who unlike you don't have time in their hands,and so it results in some not-so-kind comments,which in turn is a boon for you since it gives you ample time to respond to those comments and anger those very people even more.
  • Chat with other species of your kind - There are some legendary chats which can occur between two suspects who are charged with the murder of time.

    Example 1 :

    1:47 AM Suspect A: not sleeping dude ?
    1:48 AM Suspect B: ekdum phresh feel ho raha hai abhi :D
    Suspect A: awesome
    Suspect B: eheh
    1:49 AM tu kya kar raha hai?
    Suspect A: eheheh phresh ho raha hoon re
    eheh not able to sleep man
    Suspect B: haha wohi toh...u sleep in afternoon too like me?
    Suspect A: eheheh yeah
    1:50 AM Suspect B: toh ghanta neend aayegi 2 baje :D
    Suspect A: true
    aur bol kya chalu hai life mein
    1:51 AM Suspect B: bass yaar..kya chalega...wohi baithe rehte hain net pe
    log pareshan ho jate hain hum se
    Suspect A: haha
    1:52 AM awesome atleast some good from this wretched thing
    Suspect B: aur nahi toh kya....everyone is liye stop wasting time on facebook
    aree toh kya karon
    Suspect A: ehehe man
    i am so bored with everything fuck i cant tell u man
    there are no words left in me
    1:53 AM Suspect B: hahahah
    Suspect A: its liek typing on chats and mails has drained my memory
    Suspect B: i can understand man....still life
  • Start Blogging - Write a post such as this.

Step Four - Don't Stop

Come what(ever) may,you
must continue to kill time over a considerable period of time,preferably somwhere around 3-4 months before you can safely think that you have killed so much time that you wish you hadn't.But don't let the regret get to you,if it does that you are guilty as charged,otherwise you are just another person livin' it through."Enjoying" each day as it comes.

So don't get up off your seats and sit idle to kill time.

PS: " Judge not lest you be judged"